Notes To Self

1) Think of the hypocrites in the office as reversible jackets. Give them a box of detergent to wash off their icky smell.

2) Surprise people by smiling at those who never bothered to smile at me.

3) Give a Subway sandwich to the homeless guy after work. He's had enough of Noah's Bagels from me.

4) Females recognize bitches because they (the females) are bitches too. It takes one to know one ... or two ... or three. And I don't mean that in a biblical sense.

5) Rekindle old friendships if my OLD friends still have a candle to hold for me. I can always gaze at the fireplace and burn old printed e-mail messages. Oooh.

6) Praise those who need to be praised. Ignore those who scorn those who are praised.

7) Ride others' wavelengths and fine-tune my channels. Cross signals abound. Roger, I'm soooo over you. You're out.

8) Some say, damned if you do and damned if you don't. I say, "Do ... because damned if I won't."

9) People who think others are losers just don't have somebody to say they're winners.

10) Those who scorn at the popularity of others need a boost in morale. Have a break. Have a Kitkat.

11) When jealousy rears its ugly head, I will hold on to a prayer to make it through the day.

12) Place in ignore mode all the people and things who and which annoy me so that I will have a good disposition all throughout the day.

13) Talk to people about ideas and events ... not about other people.

14) Always remember that familiarity breeds contempt so I will put some distance between me and sweet creatures who are too close for comfort ... every now and then.

15) Rage against the machine but hit on those which are out of order only.

*sings "Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day. Oh lovely daaaaaay"