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Saturday, September 15, 2007

The Inimitable Gin ... Who Makes Everyone Grin

Just like a boil that's very ripe for the picking, this crab just exploded from out of nowhere with a thread shrieking for attention. Freedom of screech was hidden in his/her speech. S/he elicited varied reactions ranging from amusement to amazement and even to bemusement. A few crabs welcomed his/her scandalous Alimasag personality but some shrugged their shoulders, dismissing him/her as a lunatic entity (with a dubious sexuality) straight from the mental asylum of another message board.

S/he almost got the ire of some tanods, including me, because of his/her fondness for opening threads in the wrong forum. BadGirl and some tanods kept moving his/her threads either to the Tiki or Tawa ng Tanghalan where they belonged. Others were allowed to stay in the Town Hall, Kuwartong Sagrado, Gimik Corner, Tibok ng Puso and Byuti Parlor because they went to another direction … hopefully some place where there were road signs and maps.

Because of his/her queer personality and propensity to overuse exclamation points and ellipses, I got curious and re-read his/her posts and found intelligence lurking beneath. Satirical digs were dug by his/her unique shovel but very few seemed to notice those which were unearthed. And if ever they did, the crabs probably just armed themselves with nonchalance and tossed their talangka heads and went on their merry but crabby way.

I couldn’t remember anymore how we started our adversarial relationship but our FIENDship has grown into FRIENDship. The private messages we exchanged (though full of jokes unique to our off-the-wall personalities and not entirely different from what we’ve posted on the main board) revealed a respect for each other. Even if we are loud and proud, we stand our ground though seemingly sinking from others’ point of view.

His/her contributions to my thread Let’s Be Creative Via ABC Stories in Silid Aklatan show his/her tenacity and focus in making a mark. His/her hilarious Beauty Tips thread in Byuti Parlor reveals a creativity non pareil. Some have compared him/her to the now-missing Mr. Yosa but s/he’s unique in my book. To consider him/her a nuisance is sheer ignorance of his/her brilliance.

May I raise a glass and make a toast? gin_bulag, in my memory you will always jog.

The Why's of Pen Pal Writing

by The Greek Wallflower (a.k.a. moi)
(originally written way back in the 80s before the advent of the internet)

1) To avoid if not totally eradicate the creeping epidemic called boredom

2) To seek refuge from your allergy, that is, school/work

3) To exchange pleasantries and may be insults with faceless if not nameless creatures

4) To let other people know how wide your vocabulary is

5) To discover someone out there who can match your wit and humor ... if ever you have them

6) To practice your talents in creative writing and avoid plagiarism

7) To let other people talk about themselves ... when you want to talk about yourself

8) To actually use the countless boxes of hoarded stationery since grade school

9) To keep yourself from jumping off any tall skyscraper when you're feeling really morose.

10) To look for a lifetime partner ... if you're that desperate.

Ahihihi.

Verbal Fencing with an Ex-Man of God

One condition in changing ego-defensive attitudes is to remove threat. This can be done by creating a supportive environment, using humor and matter-of-fact approach.

This reminds me of my "relationship" with a co-teacher, an ex-seminarian teaching Philosophy. When we first met, I could tell that the guy had a brain with an ego to match it. He was also fond of always putting me down to get me on the defensive.

If I said something good that happened to me, he'd tell me something better that happened to him. If I complained about a bad day or about anything, he'd readily blurt out "Buti nga sa 'yo!" with relish. His condescending expressions extended to "That's nice, serves you right!" and "Teacher ka ba?"

I defended myself with equally biting retorts such as "Magyabang ka sa 'kin kapag nanalo ka na sa Palanca!", "Umalis ka ba sa seminaryo dahil sa babae ... o dahil sa LALAKE?" and "Lalaki ka ba o nagpapanggap ka lang?"

But then, three days before Christmas of that year, I vowed to make peace with all those I wasn't at peace with. What I did was give the ex-man of God a postcard with a note saying: "Anyone who believes in the saying 'Sticks and stones can hurt my bones but words can never hurt me' is a liar. No below-the-belt digs this time. I just want to wish you a Merry Christmas."

The guy lost color and became speechless. All he could do was give me a sincere smile. Uh, did I detect a slight inclination to hug me?

Ahihihi.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Why My American Co-Workers Think I'm Weird

1) I eat tuna with rice. – My co-workers laugh at me whenever I do this on a Taco Day at the hotel cafeteria. Since I absolutely hate tacos , whether soft or hard, I usually eat rice with tuna as my viand.

2) I use an umbrella even if it’s not raining. – People I pass by look at me strangely and shout, “Where’s the rain?” I just smile, move on and mutter to myself, “That’s why you have skin cancer, dude!”

3) I take my soup only after finishing my salad, entrĂ©e and dessert. – I hate hot soup because it makes me sweat before a meal. I’d rather sip it when it’s cold after I’m done eating everything.

4) I’m the only Asian (my boss has ever met) who does not know how to use a pair of chopsticks. – I guess my boss thinks Asians are always Japanese or Chinese. Hello! Back in the Philippines, we use fork and spoon. Some people even eat with their hands!

5) I put chocolate milk in my oatmeal. – This they think is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever done in the office. They scream “Nasty!” and shake their heads with a grimace to boot. I don’t care. Soaking my oatmeal in chocolate milk reminds me of champorado from back home.

Malas ... waah!

Ang inyong lingkod ay pumunta sa doktor
Para patingnan ang ulong parang may tumor
Matapos mabigyan ng reseta at pauwiin
Napatid naman po at paningin ay dumilim.

Naka-boots kasi kaya ang ankle na-sprain
Iniisip kasi marahil ng heckler na si rain
Bumalik sa doktor para patingnan ang paa
Napakasakit kasi at magang-maga siya.

Binigyan na naman ng reseta at muling pinauwi
Ano ba naman ang arnimal at naduling na muli
Gumulong sa kalye at sumambulat laman ng bag
Nakahandusay sa kalsada at mukhang binalibag.

Ahuhuhu. =(