1) I don’t mind if you consider me ugly. I hope you don’t mind if I point out your horrendous grammar and constant misspelling. Witty trumps pretty.
2) Future Bumper Sticker for an Ex-BF: I think; therefore, you are not.
3) If my laughter could kill, all the men I’ve dated would’ve been dead by now.
4) Some people confuse self-confidence with arrogance. I love confusing those people.
5) Excuse me, I am not flirting with you. I just want your Facebook wall to be interesting to read.
6) Hey, stop thinking I’m flirting with you. Your wall was shit. I thought I’d inject some wit.
7) I’m not that smart. You just don’t read a lot.
8) Talk to the fist. The hand is pissed.
9) I am not above you; you just think you’re beneath me.
10) You can’t make me like my own status. I have friends who would do that.
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