1) Enjoy umutot kapag nag-iisa. Pero mas enjoy pag may kasama nang sabay kayong tatawa.
2) Parang puwet ko'y naiiwan kapag naglalakad sa daan. Wag po n’yong pagtawanan kung ayaw ng kalmutan.
3) Huwag akong tinatanong kung bakit wala pang asawa. Ide-delete kita.
4) Ikaw ba'y napapangiwi, pag may iba akong nilalandi? Neknek mo.
5) Kapag nalaman kong girlfriend mo na ako, aba'y break na tayo.
6) You're cheesy and I'm lactose-intolerant. We'll never ever go out on a date.
7) One saying goes, "Men seldom make passes to girls who wear glasses." I say, "Men lose their senses to girls who wear lenses."
8) Do not claim to mesmerize if you do not deodorize.
9) What we post on our walls defines us: religious, funny, or plain ass.
10) At my nephew's wedding yesterday at Casa Real Ruby Hill Winery in Pleasanton, five people asked me to dance. My reply was the same every time: "I'm sorry I don't dance, but I'll write about it so you'll enjoy me more as a partner." Dancing was a traumatic experience for me. Writing funny is my therapy.
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