1) No matter what online forum, message board or Facebook page I find myself active in, I always end up having enemies. That’s the reason why I’m the Arnivorous Arnimal. Meowr!
2) Just because you don’t know the meaning of “Maundy Thursday” doesn’t mean that the term does not exist. It also doesn’t mean you’re right. Your imagined brilliance is proof of your ignorance.
3) Your favorite show is “Wowowee” and you still have no clue why we’re not a couple. I give up.
4) Your being a UP alumnus does not impress me at all. Sadly, you don’t know the use of the past perfect tense. Yeah, just try and bite me.
5) If I click on your profile, I hope I can read something worthwhile. One time, I accidentally clicked on it and found out … man, it’s worth shit.
6) TROLLIAN LANGUAGE: a body of words/non-words and the system for their use common to the trolls who are of the same Trollian community. It is characterized by horrendous grammar and terrible spelling. This language is practiced by trolls who are infamous for their constant whinings, nonsensical arguments, lack of wit and a penchant for popping up with ho-hum profile fake names.
7) MANTRA FOR THE DAY: Don’t feed the trolls. Like gremlins, they multiple and turn ugly. They’re not worth shit. It would be insulting to the shit. Repeat 10x or as many as you like without giving The Finger.
8) ARNIVOROUS ADVISORY: Please be advised that there will be no intrusive BART Train Moments scrolling through your news feeds. Also, alliteration addicts will have to contain their addiction to the seduction of sequential syllables starting with the same sound. Yours truly will be watching the Maroon 5 concert tonight. Whoohoo!
9) Psst! Made you look.
10) Arnivorous Arnimal almost always amuses. Another alliteration? Amazing! Ahahaha! Annoying! Ahihihi.
Showing posts with label arnivorous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arnivorous. Show all posts
Monday, September 05, 2011
Saturday, September 06, 2008
The Women of Lab: An Interview of Arnivorous by Alambre
1. Tell us about your lineage.
- I'm an American citizen but I'm still a full-blooded Pinoy. At airports, people think I'm Chinese. Must be because I'm mestizang hilaw.
2. Your vital stats please.
- Is this similar to ASL? Then mine is Alien, Saturn, Lightyears.
3. How was your life like growing up?
- Uber Nerd: always an outcast, always beaten up by big girls in class, always topped academic exams
4. Have you experienced being swooned by a lot of guys?
- Yep, I've had my share of this but the ones who swooned seemed to be the married kind. Sheez.
5. Where's the most unforgettable place you've ever been?
- 17-mile scenic drive in Monterey, California. There's this island that looks like it's covered with white cement. Turns out that the white stuff is just accumulated bird shit.
6. Still any place you haven't been and want to go to?
- I'd love to go Venice, ride a gondola and sing "Like A Virgin" by Madonna.
7. What should a guy do to have your attention(except this interview of course)?
- Just be witty ... and maybe you'll catch me. Unless, I catch you first.
8. Heard any good jokes lately?
From Woody Allen's Without Feathers:
I ran into my brother today at a funeral. We had not seen one another for 15 years, but as usual he produced a pig bladder from his pocket and began hitting me on the head with it. Time has helped me understand him better. I finally realized his remark that I am "some loathsome vermin fit only for extermination" was said more out of compassion than anger. Let's face it: he was always much brighter than me -- wittier, more cultured, better educated. Why he is still working at McDonald's is a mystery.
9. What's one thing people would be surprised to find out about you?
- I may be petite but I own a pair of natural big knockers.
10. Let's stay away a bit from hobbies, what are your sports?
- Past: full-contact Boggle and Textwist, marathon pen-lifting and olympic keyboard-tapping
- Present: working out at the gym three times a week
11. What would you consider as the sexiest part of your body (ahem)?
- Believe it or not, those parts would be my hands and my tongue.
12. How about the most ticklish part of your body?
- Waistline, thighs and knees
13. Not that we Labmen are interested, but what do you wear when you go to sleep?
- During spring and summer: guy's boxer shorts, tank top, no bra
- During fall and winter: Victoria's secret flannel pajamas
14. How do you manage to stay so radiant?
- I try to get enough sleep and go to a spa every now and then if I have extra moolah ... or when I visit the Philippines to splurge.
15. I've been known for this question: have you ever kissed a girl? or gone skinny-dipping?
- Kissed a girl: Yes, but it was only accidental! We ended up blurting out, "Uy, di ako tibo ha?"
- Skinny-dipping: Yes. Just in a jacuzzi if that counts.
16. How do you relax?
- Visit The Lab and post till I get bored ... especially when I'm the only one online.
17. How do you spoil yourself?
- Does the term SERIAL SHOPPER mean anything to you?
18. The best and the worst pick-up line ever used on you?
- The best: I can't think of anything right now.
- The worst: You're so sweet you could give me diabetes or a toothache ... whichever comes first.
19. What's the craziest thing a guy has done to catch your attention?
- Back when I was still crazy chatting in a Singaporean website, a Vietnamese guy got so infatuated with my online charm that he e-mailed me his resume and applied as my boyfriend. I edited his resume, e-mailed it back with a note that he should go back to medical school and charm my socks off when he's finished school.
20. What turns you off?
- Guys who smoke and curse like a Parisian whore
- People who are rude and loud in public
21. If you're an actress which villain would you play?
- That would be Battlestar Galactica's Cylon#6 played by Tricia Helfer. If you've seen that fracking show in the SciFi Channel, you would know her.
22. What is unique about you, the thing that makes you stand out from the rest?
- I'm ARNIVOROUS = Always Raring to Needle Irksome Violent Obtuse Really Obscure Underdeveloped Stupidents.
23.Is there a possibility for us ordinary Labfolks to end up with you (if you're single of course)?
- Only if your nick is kikomaniac.
24. Ever asked a guy out for a date?
- Yes. An online friend and I dated on January 1, 2007. We were both balikbayans celebrating the holidays in the Philippines. He picked me up from a spa in Makati, then we drove to the NAIA and he cancelled his flight to Qatar to be with me. We had a hearty lunch, a sumptuous dinner and good conversation. It was a wholesome EB.
25. What is your problem?
- Telling chinesedictionary, without hurting her feelings, that I'm better than her when it comes to cybersex.
26. Okay, I will not ask you about the men in your life, how about the life in your men?
- They were alive when they met me. I hope they didn't die when I left them. If my laughter could kill, all the men I've dated would've been dead by now. Ahihihi.
27. How do you make dreams come true?
- Just ask the shaman, alambre, to make me a moderator.
28. What's the first thing you look at in a man?
- I don't care about looks. If he smells good and he's witty ... I may consider something more than a roll in the hay.
29. On the other hand, how do you pamper your man?
*changes into a masseuse costume* Powder or lotion, sir?
30. (pang miss universe) What's the best thing about being a woman?
- Woman without her man is nothing.
- Woman, without her man, is nothing.
- Woman, without her, man is nothing.
Notice the lack of commas and placement of the commas? You be the judge.
Ahihihi.
- I'm an American citizen but I'm still a full-blooded Pinoy. At airports, people think I'm Chinese. Must be because I'm mestizang hilaw.
2. Your vital stats please.
- Is this similar to ASL? Then mine is Alien, Saturn, Lightyears.
3. How was your life like growing up?
- Uber Nerd: always an outcast, always beaten up by big girls in class, always topped academic exams
4. Have you experienced being swooned by a lot of guys?
- Yep, I've had my share of this but the ones who swooned seemed to be the married kind. Sheez.
5. Where's the most unforgettable place you've ever been?
- 17-mile scenic drive in Monterey, California. There's this island that looks like it's covered with white cement. Turns out that the white stuff is just accumulated bird shit.
6. Still any place you haven't been and want to go to?
- I'd love to go Venice, ride a gondola and sing "Like A Virgin" by Madonna.
7. What should a guy do to have your attention(except this interview of course)?
- Just be witty ... and maybe you'll catch me. Unless, I catch you first.
8. Heard any good jokes lately?
From Woody Allen's Without Feathers:
I ran into my brother today at a funeral. We had not seen one another for 15 years, but as usual he produced a pig bladder from his pocket and began hitting me on the head with it. Time has helped me understand him better. I finally realized his remark that I am "some loathsome vermin fit only for extermination" was said more out of compassion than anger. Let's face it: he was always much brighter than me -- wittier, more cultured, better educated. Why he is still working at McDonald's is a mystery.
9. What's one thing people would be surprised to find out about you?
- I may be petite but I own a pair of natural big knockers.
10. Let's stay away a bit from hobbies, what are your sports?
- Past: full-contact Boggle and Textwist, marathon pen-lifting and olympic keyboard-tapping
- Present: working out at the gym three times a week
11. What would you consider as the sexiest part of your body (ahem)?
- Believe it or not, those parts would be my hands and my tongue.
12. How about the most ticklish part of your body?
- Waistline, thighs and knees
13. Not that we Labmen are interested, but what do you wear when you go to sleep?
- During spring and summer: guy's boxer shorts, tank top, no bra
- During fall and winter: Victoria's secret flannel pajamas
14. How do you manage to stay so radiant?
- I try to get enough sleep and go to a spa every now and then if I have extra moolah ... or when I visit the Philippines to splurge.
15. I've been known for this question: have you ever kissed a girl? or gone skinny-dipping?
- Kissed a girl: Yes, but it was only accidental! We ended up blurting out, "Uy, di ako tibo ha?"
- Skinny-dipping: Yes. Just in a jacuzzi if that counts.
16. How do you relax?
- Visit The Lab and post till I get bored ... especially when I'm the only one online.
17. How do you spoil yourself?
- Does the term SERIAL SHOPPER mean anything to you?
18. The best and the worst pick-up line ever used on you?
- The best: I can't think of anything right now.
- The worst: You're so sweet you could give me diabetes or a toothache ... whichever comes first.
19. What's the craziest thing a guy has done to catch your attention?
- Back when I was still crazy chatting in a Singaporean website, a Vietnamese guy got so infatuated with my online charm that he e-mailed me his resume and applied as my boyfriend. I edited his resume, e-mailed it back with a note that he should go back to medical school and charm my socks off when he's finished school.
20. What turns you off?
- Guys who smoke and curse like a Parisian whore
- People who are rude and loud in public
21. If you're an actress which villain would you play?
- That would be Battlestar Galactica's Cylon#6 played by Tricia Helfer. If you've seen that fracking show in the SciFi Channel, you would know her.
22. What is unique about you, the thing that makes you stand out from the rest?
- I'm ARNIVOROUS = Always Raring to Needle Irksome Violent Obtuse Really Obscure Underdeveloped Stupidents.
23.Is there a possibility for us ordinary Labfolks to end up with you (if you're single of course)?
- Only if your nick is kikomaniac.
24. Ever asked a guy out for a date?
- Yes. An online friend and I dated on January 1, 2007. We were both balikbayans celebrating the holidays in the Philippines. He picked me up from a spa in Makati, then we drove to the NAIA and he cancelled his flight to Qatar to be with me. We had a hearty lunch, a sumptuous dinner and good conversation. It was a wholesome EB.
25. What is your problem?
- Telling chinesedictionary, without hurting her feelings, that I'm better than her when it comes to cybersex.
26. Okay, I will not ask you about the men in your life, how about the life in your men?
- They were alive when they met me. I hope they didn't die when I left them. If my laughter could kill, all the men I've dated would've been dead by now. Ahihihi.
27. How do you make dreams come true?
- Just ask the shaman, alambre, to make me a moderator.
28. What's the first thing you look at in a man?
- I don't care about looks. If he smells good and he's witty ... I may consider something more than a roll in the hay.
29. On the other hand, how do you pamper your man?
*changes into a masseuse costume* Powder or lotion, sir?
30. (pang miss universe) What's the best thing about being a woman?
- Woman without her man is nothing.
- Woman, without her man, is nothing.
- Woman, without her, man is nothing.
Notice the lack of commas and placement of the commas? You be the judge.
Ahihihi.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
The Meaning of Arnivorous
arnivorous, from the dictionary entitled Bookbarni means capable of being an arnimal. It is an adjective, a nerdy friend coined, referring to someone who sits on a corner and munches a C. Hecklers would chide that definition and declare it as bull. What they fail to see is the irony in my nick/handle. arnivorous is really a VERBIVORE: someone who devours words on sight. Ask my sister egetarian and she'll tell you that I'm always hungry for punsters and would always gobble pundits to taste if they're palatable. What a feast, eh? Ahihihi.
I wonder if there's someone out there who could be my Attila the Pun or Conan the Grammarian. Ahihihi.
I wonder if there's someone out there who could be my Attila the Pun or Conan the Grammarian. Ahihihi.
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