Verbal Fencing with an Ex-Man of God

One condition in changing ego-defensive attitudes is to remove threat. This can be done by creating a supportive environment, using humor and matter-of-fact approach.

This reminds me of my "relationship" with a co-teacher, an ex-seminarian teaching Philosophy. When we first met, I could tell that the guy had a brain with an ego to match it. He was also fond of always putting me down to get me on the defensive.

If I said something good that happened to me, he'd tell me something better that happened to him. If I complained about a bad day or about anything, he'd readily blurt out "Buti nga sa 'yo!" with relish. His condescending expressions extended to "That's nice, serves you right!" and "Teacher ka ba?"

I defended myself with equally biting retorts such as "Magyabang ka sa 'kin kapag nanalo ka na sa Palanca!", "Umalis ka ba sa seminaryo dahil sa babae ... o dahil sa LALAKE?" and "Lalaki ka ba o nagpapanggap ka lang?"

But then, three days before Christmas of that year, I vowed to make peace with all those I wasn't at peace with. What I did was give the ex-man of God a postcard with a note saying: "Anyone who believes in the saying 'Sticks and stones can hurt my bones but words can never hurt me' is a liar. No below-the-belt digs this time. I just want to wish you a Merry Christmas."

The guy lost color and became speechless. All he could do was give me a sincere smile. Uh, did I detect a slight inclination to hug me?

Ahihihi.

Ssh...

"If language were liquid, it would be rushing in. Instead here we are in a silence more eloquent than any word could ever be."

- "Language," Suzanne Vega

SILENCE stays in a corner. You don't realize it's been there staring at you for quite some time now. Without any warning, it grabs you by the shoulders and hurls you to the ground. You're bruised and bleeding.

You look up to meet its eyes and ask, "Why?" SILENCE ignores your question and kicks you in the face instead. You try to get up but SILENCE, this time, aims for your gut. You hug yourself and lie fetal position to protect yourself. You close your eyes and cry yourself to a dreamless sleep.

SILENCE retreats to a corner and smiles.